What is Your Jewish Identity Story?

By: Rabbi Shmuel Hain, Rosh Beit Midrash

Second semester of senior year presents some well-documented educational challenges. But instead of surrendering to senioritis, SAR High School utilizes the freedom of this post-college acceptance/pre-graduation stage by offering seniors the opportunity to grow intellectually, emotionally, and experientially. One way we do this is through our innovative Jewish Identity course, a staple of second semester senior life at SAR High School.

Jewish Identity is comprised of two curricular pieces. The Modern Jewish History class, taught by our outstanding History teachers, examines the Holocaust and the advent of the State of Israel, with an eye towards how these events shape who we are as Jews living in America today. The Jewish Identity curriculum, developed by Mr. Simon Fleischer and taught by Limmudei Kodesh and General Studies faculty, consists of readings and discussions around several topics central to what it means to be a college-age Modern Orthodox Jew in the world today. These topics include: Chosenness and its implications for interactions with non-Jews, Torah Mi-Sinai and Biblical criticism, how to relate to Jews across the religious and denominational spectrum, and feminism and Orthodoxy, among others. The readings encourage thoughtful discussion about each of these topics and are usually followed by a written component which helps students summarize their own thoughts on each unit.

This year, our Jewish Identity class has engaged in a new and meaningful ritual: personal Jewish Identity moments. During readings or discussions, students or teachers may share their family's Jewish Identity story. During a discussion about philosophical Modern Orthodoxy vs. behavioral Modern Orthodoxy, one student began telling the story of his great grandmother in communist Russia who ate fowl once a year when her family had the opportunity and fortitude to perform ritual slaughter in private. The student related how this family story shaped his parents’ decision to live by their ideals and become more observant Jews in America. While reading about different views on what the Jews actually received at Sinai, we encountered the perspective of R’ Mendel of Rymanov, a Hasidic master who also happens to be the great, great, great grandfather of one of the students in the class. To help students understand the shift in denominational numbers, I shared with students some of the obstacles my father faced as a young Orthodox Rabbi in Houston, Texas in the 1970’s and added details of his upbringing in Danville, VA in the 50’s as contrasted with my mother's youth in Scranton, PA.

These personal narratives have added a powerful dimension to our Jewish Identity class. In addition to empowering students to navigate the issues they will confront in the future on college campuses and beyond, students are capable of looking back at their own family lore to see how these narratives have shaped their own Jewish identity. 

There are additional benefits for students who share their family narratives. Recent research has demonstrated the importance of families developing strong narratives. Several studies have shown that families who develop these narratives by sharing even the "hard-to-tell" stories are much more likely to develop more resilient children as well as closer bonds with each other. See several research papers here: http://www.marial.emory.edu/research/. For an excellent summary, see: the-family-stories-that-bind-us-.

These Jewish Identity student narratives have also reinforced for me what makes the Seder and the telling and re-telling of the great national Jewish story such an important, and compelling ritual. The Seder represents the great oscillating narrative of the Jewish People, with moments of ignominy alternating with moments of triumph and joy which together, help perpetuate our Jewish identity. 

So whether you are a parent of a senior about to graduate or of an 8th grader about to embark on the high school journey, reflect on, and share with your loved ones, your family's Jewish Identity story: What family events and values brought you to this particular moment and how can these narratives inspire you and your loved ones to lead lives suffused with meaning and mission?

"THE APP GENERATION"

by Rabbi Tully Harcsztark, Principal

In a recent book, The App Generation (Yale University Press: 2013), Howard Gardner (of Multiple Intelligences fame) and Katie Davis explore the impact of technology on the “App Generation”, as they have dubbed today’s youth - the generation for whom technology has always been a part of their lives. They research the impact of technology on the identity, intimacy and imagination of the current generation. Of the many issues that they explore, I would like to highlight two of the ways that technology in general and social media in particular shape the psyche, the mindset, of those of us who are always connected.

Identity creation - In a recent conversation, an SAR graduate currently in college intuited one of the authors’ insights. In the social media world, one is always constructing an online identity. We choose events, pictures, songs and many other things that, together, define our online persona. What we select is significant in constructing that identity. Equally significant is what we leave out. And the psychological impact is profound. The graduate noted: When you see another person’s page full of great fun, you begin to wonder about your own life. I don’t seem to be having as much fun as they are. Am I ok? Am I missing out? What do I need to do to keep up? In fact, however, the constructed identity itself leaves out so much of what life is - the ups and downs, the challenges in addition to the successes. Our posted life is very partial and often, rather superficial. The cumulative effect of all of this encourages psychological fragmentation and uncertainty unless we are careful and reflective about how to use social media in a healthy way. There is no question of the positive power of social media - it can bring people together, it can topple dictators. But it also impacts and shapes our day to day mindset and expectations, our patterns of thinking, in a very deep way.

Social isolation - Data gathered from the General Social Survey (GSS), an annual survey of Americans’ lifestyle choices and values, from 1985 and 2004, suggest that Americans are becoming increasingly socially isolated from each other. This trend predates the digital age. It is rather ironic that the trend continues despite the prevalent use of social media. The explanation: we are constantly in contact with each other; what is on the decline is deep and meaningful social interaction. In her book, Alone Together (Basic Books, 2011), Sherry Turkle notes that the brevity of tweeting and texting does not lend itself to relating and truly responding to the complex feelings of another. Perhaps more importantly, Turkle claims that crucial to deep relationship is opening oneself up, making oneself vulnerable to another. It is hard to look a person in the eye and say certain things; it is easier - and more distant - to do so via email. But when we make ourselves vulnerable to another and have the conversation, we have deepened our relationship. That is how relationships grow. And a profound insight: even on skype or facetime, where the discussion is face to face, it is virtually (pardon the pun) impossible to make eye contact. To “look into the other person eyes”, one must look at the camera and not at the conversant.

Their overall point: Gardner and Davis do not claim that technology is bad for us. The book seeks to make a distinction between technology as enabling and technology that makes us dependent. Apps can enhance identity, intimacy and imagination; but it can also foster app dependency, where we are less capable of firmly establishing our own identity, strong relationships and personal creativity. Our job as parents and educators is to think carefully and act to help our children - and ourselves - strike the right balance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTqY-a2kvk8

(watch beginning with minute 8:00)

Our goal: to strike a balance between ourselves and our technology that encourages healthy identity, intimacy and imagination. The key ingredient: a sense of interiority. We must exercise our internal being, practice closing out the external forces so that we can better develop our internal selves. Doing so strengthens our self understanding, our ability to bring our complete selves to engage with others and to use our own ideas and imagination when engaging a project or challenge.

I propose three exercises and I suggest that we practice them just as we practice a sport, a musical instrument or our writing.

1. Disconnect - imagine that we, as a family, have set times (aside from Shabbat) where we must all be off technology and media. If I have a difficult time knowing what to do without technology, I am app-dependent. If we are able to use our time productively, we are cultivating an independent sense of self that can choose to use technology in a purposeful way.

2. Engage - Set a time each week to talk with a friend or family member. Think of a person who did something that deserves your appreciation; think of a person who has done something that bothered you or made you feel bad. Think of someone with whom you should probably have a conversation - but with whom the time is just never right - and talk. You will be exercising your capacity to share your interior self with others. And it will feel right.

3. Pray - seriously. Prayer opens a remarkable space in our day when we look inward, focusing our energies toward a deep inner space, as well as outward, beyond anything that we can imagine. Prayer is the authentically Jewish balance to our very concrete technological involvements.

It takes some work on our part. But it is well worth it.